Summary
Governance relies on bureaucracy, regulation, Punitive measures, Laws, Regulations, Taxation, Fees, and administrative absurdity, signs that say laws will be enforced, not specific rational measures.
What the Satirists Knew (and Tried to Warn Us About)
Satirists have always understood something administrators forget: systems designed to help people eventually learn to help themselves first.
Mark Twain — The Patron Saint of Administrative Absurdity
No American satirist skewered officialdom more effectively than Mark Twain, who distrusted institutions with impeccable manners and poor results.
“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”
And, more pointedly for bureaucracy:
“There is no distinctly American criminal class—except Congress.”
Twain’s genius wasin recognizing that the more serious an institution becomes, the more necessary humor is to expose it.
H.L. Mencken — When Satire Became a Scalpel
Mencken treated bureaucracy not as a flaw, but as a predictable outcome of moral certainty.
“The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed… by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins.”
On governance and competence, he offered this evergreen insight:
“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want—and deserve to get it good and hard.”
A few lines better explain how well‑intended systems become self‑punishing.
P.J. O’Rourke — Regulation with a Punchline
Modern bureaucracy met its match in P.J. O’Rourke, who specialized in exposing regulatory logic by simply following it to its conclusion.
“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”
And on organized systems:
“Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.”
That sentence alone could replace three government white papers.
Jonathan Swift — The Original Administrative Troll
Long before modern agencies existed, Jonathan Swift understood institutional nonsense better than anyone.
“We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.”
His insight applies equally to bureaucracy:
“Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.”
Satire, for Swift, was not mockery; it was diagnosis.
George Bernard Shaw — Equality, Administered
Shaw believed systems inevitably misunderstood human nature.
“The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.”
(Yes, it predates modern government—and still fits perfectly.)
And on reformers:
“A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.”
Ambrose Bierce — Definitions That Still Sting
Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary remains one of the sharpest tools ever aimed at authority.
“Bureaucracy: A system of government in which most of the important decisions are made by people who don’t have to face the consequences.”
That line alone explains why process always outlives purpose.
Will Rogers — Folksy, but Lethal
Rogers made satire sound like common sense, which is why it was dangerous.
“This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.”
And on regulation:
“The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.”
Quotes
- “Bureaucracy expands to justify its own existence.” — Shaw
- “Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past its usefulness.” — O’Rourke
- “Satire is what closes the gap between intention and outcome.” — (editorial synthesis)
- “When systems replace judgment, judgment becomes noncompliant.” — (editorial synthesis)