Instructions: Please answer truthfully.  Or not.  We won’t check.

1.       When faced with a problem, do you:

o   A) Solve it

o   B) Form a committee

o   C) Blame the previous administration

2.       You see a fire in the building.  What’s your first response?

o   A) Call 911

o   B) Draft a memo

o   C) Schedule a fire-awareness seminar for next quarter

3.       How many consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?

o   A) One to hold the bulb, nine to rotate the ladder

o   B) None, they recommend outsourcing

o   C) Depends on the budget cycle

4.       You receive an email marked “URGENT.” What do you do?

o   A) Read it immediately

o   B) Forward it to Legal

o   C) Flag it for follow-up in Q3

5.       Which of the following best describes your leadership style?

o   A) Decisive

o   B) Passive-aggressive

o   C) Delegation until the problem disappears

6.       Your password expired.  What’s your next move?

o   A) Reset it

o   B) Cry

o   C) Use “Password123” again and hope for the best

7.       You’re asked to innovate.  You:

o   A) Brainstorm

o   B) Rebrand existing ideas

o   C) Add “synergy” to every sentence

8.       What’s your preferred method of conflict resolution?

o   A) Mediation

o   B) Email thread with 47 recipients

o   C) Pretend you didn’t see the message

9.       How do you measure productivity?

o   A) Output

o   B) Number of meetings attended

o   C) How many acronyms do you use today

10.   You’re asked to cut costs.  You:

o   A) Reduce waste

o   B) Fire the intern

o   C) Replace coffee with decaf

11.   What’s your stance on strategic planning?

o   A) Necessary

o   B) A great way to avoid doing real work

o   C) Best done during a retreat in Maui

12.   You’re given a 400-page report.  What do you do?

o   A) Read the executive summary

o   B) Highlight random sections

o   C) Ask ChatGPT to summarize it

13.   Your team misses a deadline.  You:

o   A) Investigate root causes

o   B) Blame external factors

o   C) Rename the deadline to “flexible milestone”

14.   What’s your approach to ethics training?

o   A) Take it seriously

o   B) Click through slides while watching Netflix

o   C) Ask if ethics are still “a thing”

15.   You’re asked to give a presentation.  You:

o   A) Prepare thoroughly

o   B) Use last year’s slides

o   C) Add animations and hope no one notices the content

16.   What’s your reaction to a new policy?

o   A) Read it

o   B) Ignore it

o   C) Ask if it affects your lunch break

17.   How do you handle feedback?

o   A) Gratefully

o   B) Defensively

o   C) Create a feedback form that routes to spam

18.   You’re promoted.  What’s your first act?

o   A) Celebrate

o   B) Change your email signature

o   C) Schedule a meeting to discuss your new role’s ambiguity

19.   What’s your philosophy on work-life balance?

o   A) Essential

o   B) A myth

o   C) Something HR talks about during onboarding

20.   Final question: What is the square root of “synergistic alignment”?

o   A) Innovation

o   B) A buzzword vortex

o   C) Whatever the consultant says it is